dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
