Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
