His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
