So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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