Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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