i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Randomize
