The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
