i just had sex bonerless
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
