So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
