yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
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new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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