so explain again why im purple
no
I think I won the penis lottery.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Randomize
