So drunk its hurt
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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