i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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