Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Randomize
