you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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