The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
