can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize