Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
