no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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