Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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