I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
