It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
