Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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