You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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