Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize
