So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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