in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
