I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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