shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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