Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
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Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
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LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
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