ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Randomize
