Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize