This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
