sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize