I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
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