i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Mom said you looked used
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize