It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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