He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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