You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
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