If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
How naked do you want me to be?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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