And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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