I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
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