The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
