I'd wear matching sweaters with you
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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