I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
