you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
You can't motorboat a personality
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
