She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Randomize
