You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
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