long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize