We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
