im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize