**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
