So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
