Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
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I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
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Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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