I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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