I wannas sexs uuuuu
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
