so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
