I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
