I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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