her vagine was all disorganized.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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