If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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